Real Life Roller Coaster Continues

My roller coaster life continues. I am trying to find a full time job preferably in the social work field. However, I applied for a job at a child care center close to my home. I talked to the director and she asked me to come in for a formal interview with the assistant director. The interview was short and I felt like I didn't click with the assisant director and that I bombed the interview. Then to my suprise a couple days later (a Friday) the assistant director called me and asked if I was still interested in the position. When I responded yes she wanted me to start on Monday. Because of previous commitments, I told her I couldn't start until the following week. She said OK, we discussed the pay and said she would talk to the owner about the pay rate.

Thinking that meant I got the job, I gave the bookstore (where I was working) my notice and was looking forward to this new job. Can you guess what happened?

For some reason I just had an unsure feeling about this new job, therefore I called to confirm my starting date and time to be there. I was told by the assistant director (the one I didn't click with) that the director was off for the next two weeks and that they world have to call me back and let me know for sure if I got the job or not. My stomach dropped as I was going down that hill. I had already turned in my notice and I didn't have a job to go to and knowing that I NEED to have a job.

I don't understand how in one phone call an employer can ask a person to start a job the next business day and then in the next phone call tell them they may or may not have the job. I also don't understand how an employer could offer you a job and expect you to be available the next business day! I asked these questions to the manager at the bookstore where I'm working and I had a different experience talking to someone who could be totally objective and not someone that knows me and cares about me and wanting the best for me. You know what I mean? I don't mean to say that she's not a caring person - just that she's not emotionally connected or involved with me. I asked for her opinion as a business person and as an employer. She had some of the same thoughts I did. She said it sounded like the director and assistant director had some miscommunication problems. She also advised me that I may want to reconsider if that would be a place I would want to work if I 'm having these kinds of problems before I even start working there. She also asked me if this was really the job I wanted or was I settling? Well, she was right. If I took that job I would be settling and it would just be something until the job I wanted would come along. She also advised me not to job hop, because that will look bad on a resume - which I already knew. Therefore, I have decided that if I do get a call back I am not accepting the job at the daycare center. I did talk to the mangers at the bookstore and they are aware that I am looking for a full time social work job and have agreed to let me work at the bookstore until I find the right job for me. Of course this is only part time so I really do need to find something soon, which is a totally different post all together.

This roller coaster ride of finding the right job and trying to figure out what God is teaching me and wants me to do continues. I still feel like God is not hearing or listening to my prayers and I am going through a dry period in my Christian walk right now. However, I have decided that I am going to Praise the Lord anyways no matter how I feel! I asked a friend of mine this morning to pray for me, because God is not listening to my prayers and maybe He will listen to yours. I am going to ask you in Blog world the same thing. Would you please say a pray for me. I need a special touch from the Lord. I need to hear Him say that He still loves me. I need to hear him say that He has our job and our financial situation under control. I need Him to provide our needs like His word says He will. I need to know that I am walking in the right path He wants me to and if I'm not, I need to know how and where to change. If you wouldn't mind please say a prayer for me. I sure would appreciate it.

Until Later,
~Betty~