Friday, August 03, 2007

Are You Where God Wants You to Be?

My journey continues. I still do not know what God is doing in my life. I saw a church sign that said:


"In life, are you where God wants you to be?"

My response is I sure hope not! I don't know what God is doing in my life or what He is trying to teach me. I know I can not stay where I currently am. Maybe I'm just in His waiting room. As you know, the big thing going on in my life right now is trying to find a job. I have been working temporarily part time at a college book store, well it is no longer temporary. I no longer work there. They are now heading into their slow time and don't need me any more. I'm asking God, now what? I am still waiting for his response. I don't understand why it is taking so long to find a job. Our finances can not handle much more time off. I have been looking back at some of our decisions and wondering if I made the right decisions or not. Maybe I shouldn't try to second guess myself, but I don't know what else to do. As I reflect back on some of the decisions that we have made, at the time we made the decisions I don't think that we acted out of God's will or disobeyed Him. I remember praying that "Lord if this is not what you want for us then don't let the doors open." I think when we made certain decisions we took the information and knowledge we had at the time and did what we thought was best at the time. It's so easy to beat myself up and think I did something so wrong to be struggling like we are. Maybe I shouldn't be blaming myself, but I don't know what else to think or what else to do. I have also been thinking about what I can do differently. I have been praying that God will give me wisdom, knowledge, and new ideas to try. I am still waiting! I am really struggling with my faith right now and praying that God will come through for me. Deep down, I know He will! I'm just waiting for His blessings and asking Him to get me out of this situation that I'm in right now.

I know my posts lately have not been upbeat or encouraging, but I am just expressing where I am right now. I don't plan to stay in this mode, but believe me when I say that I have been praying and trying to see God's hand and His plan in everything that is happening in our lives lately. I just feel down and am using this blog to express my feelings and thoughts. I don't mean to be discouraging or down, but I'm just sharing my journey right now and what I'm currently dealing with. I shared with my best friend, Pat, today that I know this time will pass, but until then I'm struggling and feel like a big storm cloud is following me everywhere I go.

In my quiet time and at church, as an act of my will, not feelings, I have been praising the Lord in spite of my circumstances and how I'm feeling. Pat encouraged me today as an act of my will to not doubt the Lord and trust that He will come through for my family. This is my challenge for the week. I will let you know how it goes and what the Lord does for us.

Until Later,
~Betty~

3 comments:

Lyndy said...

Betty,

I thank you for your transparency. As you know, I was in my own “waiting room” for several months. It is difficult and scary. Please know that I am praying for you. One thing I know for sure, God always provides. It has been my experience that He is rarely early but always on time.

Don’t beat yourself up or play the “why” and “blame’ game. Trust me, it does no good and is a tactic of the devil to steal our peace. Just keep trusting and praying. I know God has great blessings in store for you.

Hugs, Lyndy

Cheri said...

Betty - I'm still praying hard for you. Waiting for Him to reveal His plan isn't easy - but it's worth it!

Thank you for your honesty. Never feel "guilty" for speaking what's in your heart, what you're going through. I'm not here to judge - just to listen (well, read).

Keep praying, keep listening, keep your heart open. It'll come.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Betty, so much of this is so true for me! I'm glad you are being so honest...THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!! It will come and we're all here praying for you and for God's guidance on this journey. I ditto Cheri..."Keep praying, keep listening, keep your heart open. It'll come." I needed to hear that for myself as well! Wishing you the best and praying for you, too! God Bless!!!

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