555 Deal

Working full time, moving, adjusting to a new school, Upward basketball, Bible Quizzing, Children's Praise team, guitar lessons, dance lessons, and trying to find family and personal time has been challenging for our family. Trying to balance and succeed at all these things are more than I can handle right now. I need a break and it is evident by ways I have been responding to my friends and family. A few weeks ago our pastor preached on how as a Christian we have an enemy that is wanting to attack us and lately I sure do feel like his prey and have been devoured. After my wounds have healed I will pick up my weapons that I dropped (my bible reading, prayer, and devotions) and will get back into the battle. But first I am taking a break. This weekend is the first weekend in about 3 months or more that we have NOTHING planned and nowhere we have to go. I am keeping it that way. We get to stay home, clean, organize, menu plan, go grocery shopping, and relax. I didn't realize how much I do enjoy these things.

As a family we have decided to make some changes in our lives and have revisited our priorities. I'm learning that with working full time now outside of the home that I can't do all the things that I used to be able to do. God has to come first in my life, then family, then church and other activities. Lately I have been putting church and others things first in my life and that is what I need to change.

Last week my Sunday School teacher presented us with a 15 minute challenge. The challenge was to make an effort this week to spend (at a minimum):

5 minutes listening to GOD (Reading his Word),
5 minutes talking to GOD (Praying), and
5 minutes reading some type of devotional material

We are then to report back of how spending 15 minutes a day with God has made a difference in our week. I have to admit I did not succeed at this for the whole week. However, I am starting this today. I believe one reason why Satan has been devouring me lately is because I have not been spending time with God and getting the power & strength I need from Him. I can't win this battle on my own. I have to do it with the power of the Holy Spirit! Starting today I am accepting this 555 deal. So how about you? Are you ready for a good deal?

Until Later,

~Betty~

Church Security System

In my last post I said I was coming back to blogging and it has still been awhile since I have posted. I have started several posts and then I get stuck and can't seem to finish my thoughts. I am still planning to post my thoughts more regularly, but life has been challenging lately and I want to share part of it. So just know that I am working on different posts and hope to share them soon. I do have something to share that happened last week at church.

In the children's department at our church we have a security system in place where parents have to sign their children in and out. I know the leaders in charge have put much time and effort into this system to make it work and be a safe place for our children while they are at church learning about God. Keeping that in mind I try not to complain to much about things (I TRY not to!!!!!!!!!). However, this week I just have to complain about our system here. First of all let me explain our system. We have a table set up in front of the children's department where parents sign in their children when they arrive at church. Once the parent sign's their name the child receives a paper wristband with a number on it that corresponds with a tag that is given to the parent. The parent then needs to show this tag when picking up their child and the children worker will match the number on the parent's tag to the child's wristband. This is good especially if the children's worker does not know the parent of the child. During the church service if there is a problem or your child needs you, your number will come up on the projector screen that is used in the worship service. This system has been in use for over a year and has worked well. That was until last Sunday when my child's number came on the screen. This system is great for the 99% of the people that 1. know the number of their child and 2. are not SLEEPING in service, which by the way is what was happening to me. When the number system "failed" me, a children's worker came into service to "get" (wake) me and then told me that my youngest had an accident. Great system if one is aware of the number and is not sleeping in service.

I will for sure be going to bed early this Saturday night. :)! No more relaxing in the bath tub, painting my nails, talking to a friend on the phone, and laying in bed sharing my thoughts and ideas with my husband. lol!

Until Later,
~Betty~

New Start

I know it has been awhile since I last posted and since then a lot of things have changed in my life and it has been stressful. Here is an update and plans for my future blogging.

Last year in 2007 was a very tough year for me and my family and I am looking forward to a better year in 2008. Looking back through my difficult moments in 2007 I remember times of failures, dissappointments, and frustrations. I went through a time of being mad at God and not understanding why He was allowing certain things to happen in my life and not answering my prayers the way I wanted and thought they needed to be answered. I went through a time when I didn't have any control over certain things in my life. I went through a time of heartbreak and the tears sure did flow a lot. I went through a time of not seeing God working in my life and not knowing where He was leading and not sure I wanted to follow any more. I went through a time of being angry with God and feeling like He left me. Boy am I glad 2007 is over. However through all the tough times in 2007 I did learn and seen God's love for me. Now looking back I can see how God used those hard times to show me His love and how He protected my marriage and has made my family stronger. As I reflect back on last year I am learning from my mistakes and how to make 2008 a better year for our family. Through our circumstances the words that I felt God telling my heart is "restore and rebuild". Therefore 2008 will be a restoring and rebuilding year for me. I'm still allowing God to lead me "On The Journey To Victory!"

There are areas in my life that I am going to work on in 2008 and step it up a noch. Those areas are weight loss, parenting, and my career. I am going to use this blog to record my journey in these areas of my life in 2008. My plan is to post sometime during the weekend about my week in review, then to weigh in and record my weight loss or gain on Fridays (Fitness Fridays). I am planning to post more often than what I have been doing. I'm still learning how to balance my pleasure of blogging and my life responsiblilities. I believe I can use my enjoyment of blogging to obtain my goals that I want to accomplish.

So I am back to posting and using my blog again. So come and join me on this journey and I will keep you posted on what God is doing in my life.

Until Later,
~Betty~

Praise the Lord!

I have been wanting to post for awhile now. I will start to write something and then my thoughts freeze and I just don't seem to be able to put my thoughts together and write a complete post. I should have shared this a week ago in a Thankful Thursday post, but just couldn't get my thoughts to come together. However here is a much overdue update post:

After much prayer and struggle, I found a full time job! I was working at a college bookstore as a part time, temporary worker. It was going good, but just didn't pay what I need. The reason I accepted this position this past summer was because I thought maybe by working there it would be easier to hear about other positions in the community or maybe at the college. I have been working with kids for quite some time and ran a home day care for years, therefore I decided that I no longer wanted to work in that field and wanted to work in the social work field, since I do have a degree in the field. As I started looking for a social work job, I kept running into a wall and nothing was opening up for me. I felt very frustrated and discouraged and really struggled with the Lord about this. I started to think about other types of jobs and possibly looking into the center based child care field (since I did have child care experience). Well I finally got to the point to where I said "OK God I don't understand what you are doing in my life and don't understand why a job has not opened for me. I trust you and know that you can open the right door, and I will just 'Be Still and Know You are God.'" In my prayer time I got to the point where I just prayed that for whatever reason He had for me and my family to go through this difficult time, that He would use it to strengthen us and for His glory. I also prayed that when the right job came along he would make it happen in a way that only he could and that it would all just fall into place. Well that is what happened!

It was a Tuesday and I was working at the bookstore. A lady came in and needed a staff ID badge. I went to the counter to take her picture and we started talking. She told me that she just started working at the Early Childhood Education Center on the college campus. No big deal, other staff from there have came into the bookstore to get their IDs. However, this time it was different. I started asking her about her job and how she liked it so far. She was very positive about the center and I told her I have thought about apply there and she said they still had some teacher positions open and I should apply. After making her ID I walked with her to the Human Resource Department to talk to them about the job. I was told that I had to apply online and it would take up to a month to be hired. I thought I don't want to wait another month. Well, I went home that Tuesday night and applied online. On Wednesday after work I went down to the Childcare center with resume in hand and asked for the director and was going to give it to her in person (thinking maybe I could speed up the process). When the director came, she informed me she just got my resume about an hour ago and left me a message 15 minutes ago about wanting to set up an interview. Needless to say, I did not get that message! She asked to do an on the spot interview right then. I had the interview on Wednesday and they asked me to come in for a second interview/ observation on Thursday and she called me on Friday to offer me a full time position and I started the following Wednesday. My position is a toddler teacher and I really like it. I have been impressed with the facility and the administration, which is so different from where I worked before. I am responsible for the next 2 weeks of lesson plans and that has been fun. I am still in the transitioning process, but I think this will be good. I praise the Lord for how He provided this job and am very thankful. Through my journey of looking for a job, I have been so loved and supported by many people. God has shown me His love over and over again on this journey.

Until Later,
~Betty~

Are You Where God Wants You to Be?

My journey continues. I still do not know what God is doing in my life. I saw a church sign that said:


"In life, are you where God wants you to be?"

My response is I sure hope not! I don't know what God is doing in my life or what He is trying to teach me. I know I can not stay where I currently am. Maybe I'm just in His waiting room. As you know, the big thing going on in my life right now is trying to find a job. I have been working temporarily part time at a college book store, well it is no longer temporary. I no longer work there. They are now heading into their slow time and don't need me any more. I'm asking God, now what? I am still waiting for his response. I don't understand why it is taking so long to find a job. Our finances can not handle much more time off. I have been looking back at some of our decisions and wondering if I made the right decisions or not. Maybe I shouldn't try to second guess myself, but I don't know what else to do. As I reflect back on some of the decisions that we have made, at the time we made the decisions I don't think that we acted out of God's will or disobeyed Him. I remember praying that "Lord if this is not what you want for us then don't let the doors open." I think when we made certain decisions we took the information and knowledge we had at the time and did what we thought was best at the time. It's so easy to beat myself up and think I did something so wrong to be struggling like we are. Maybe I shouldn't be blaming myself, but I don't know what else to think or what else to do. I have also been thinking about what I can do differently. I have been praying that God will give me wisdom, knowledge, and new ideas to try. I am still waiting! I am really struggling with my faith right now and praying that God will come through for me. Deep down, I know He will! I'm just waiting for His blessings and asking Him to get me out of this situation that I'm in right now.

I know my posts lately have not been upbeat or encouraging, but I am just expressing where I am right now. I don't plan to stay in this mode, but believe me when I say that I have been praying and trying to see God's hand and His plan in everything that is happening in our lives lately. I just feel down and am using this blog to express my feelings and thoughts. I don't mean to be discouraging or down, but I'm just sharing my journey right now and what I'm currently dealing with. I shared with my best friend, Pat, today that I know this time will pass, but until then I'm struggling and feel like a big storm cloud is following me everywhere I go.

In my quiet time and at church, as an act of my will, not feelings, I have been praising the Lord in spite of my circumstances and how I'm feeling. Pat encouraged me today as an act of my will to not doubt the Lord and trust that He will come through for my family. This is my challenge for the week. I will let you know how it goes and what the Lord does for us.

Until Later,
~Betty~

2 Times to Learn It!

I am learning something about myself. It seems like it takes me 2 times to learn something. For the second time in 6 months our computer crashed and I lost my pictures and my files that I had saved on the computer. The pictures that I lost I will be able to get most of them back from friends and family who have duplicates. The biggest frustration is loosing my files. I had each month of my budget plan and all of John's and my different resumes and cover letters saved on the computer. Do you realize how much time I had invested in those things? I had different resumes and cover letters developed for different types of jobs we have been applying for. Writing and developing these does not come easy to me, therefore to think about starting over does not thrill me at all. The fact that this has happened to me before you would think that I would have known better and would have saved and backed up everything, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I didn't! I am so frustrated with myself. However, I can honestly say that I have learned this time. From this point on, I will save my things to a disk and/or jump drive.

I have missed everyone this week. I have not been able to blog or get on line since Sunday night. So now I will try to catch up with everyone. Also I wanted to thank you all for the wonderful comments from my last post. You all made me cry. Thank you for your prayers. I realized that I have some great blog friends, along with my REAL friends (who most of them I don't think read my blog).

Blogging helps me to relax and I enjoy it, but I now have to go to bed. I work early tomorrow and have a friend from Ohio coming in to visit. I hope everyone has a good day.

Until Later,
~Betty~

Real Life Roller Coaster Continues

My roller coaster life continues. I am trying to find a full time job preferably in the social work field. However, I applied for a job at a child care center close to my home. I talked to the director and she asked me to come in for a formal interview with the assistant director. The interview was short and I felt like I didn't click with the assisant director and that I bombed the interview. Then to my suprise a couple days later (a Friday) the assistant director called me and asked if I was still interested in the position. When I responded yes she wanted me to start on Monday. Because of previous commitments, I told her I couldn't start until the following week. She said OK, we discussed the pay and said she would talk to the owner about the pay rate.

Thinking that meant I got the job, I gave the bookstore (where I was working) my notice and was looking forward to this new job. Can you guess what happened?

For some reason I just had an unsure feeling about this new job, therefore I called to confirm my starting date and time to be there. I was told by the assistant director (the one I didn't click with) that the director was off for the next two weeks and that they world have to call me back and let me know for sure if I got the job or not. My stomach dropped as I was going down that hill. I had already turned in my notice and I didn't have a job to go to and knowing that I NEED to have a job.

I don't understand how in one phone call an employer can ask a person to start a job the next business day and then in the next phone call tell them they may or may not have the job. I also don't understand how an employer could offer you a job and expect you to be available the next business day! I asked these questions to the manager at the bookstore where I'm working and I had a different experience talking to someone who could be totally objective and not someone that knows me and cares about me and wanting the best for me. You know what I mean? I don't mean to say that she's not a caring person - just that she's not emotionally connected or involved with me. I asked for her opinion as a business person and as an employer. She had some of the same thoughts I did. She said it sounded like the director and assistant director had some miscommunication problems. She also advised me that I may want to reconsider if that would be a place I would want to work if I 'm having these kinds of problems before I even start working there. She also asked me if this was really the job I wanted or was I settling? Well, she was right. If I took that job I would be settling and it would just be something until the job I wanted would come along. She also advised me not to job hop, because that will look bad on a resume - which I already knew. Therefore, I have decided that if I do get a call back I am not accepting the job at the daycare center. I did talk to the mangers at the bookstore and they are aware that I am looking for a full time social work job and have agreed to let me work at the bookstore until I find the right job for me. Of course this is only part time so I really do need to find something soon, which is a totally different post all together.

This roller coaster ride of finding the right job and trying to figure out what God is teaching me and wants me to do continues. I still feel like God is not hearing or listening to my prayers and I am going through a dry period in my Christian walk right now. However, I have decided that I am going to Praise the Lord anyways no matter how I feel! I asked a friend of mine this morning to pray for me, because God is not listening to my prayers and maybe He will listen to yours. I am going to ask you in Blog world the same thing. Would you please say a pray for me. I need a special touch from the Lord. I need to hear Him say that He still loves me. I need to hear him say that He has our job and our financial situation under control. I need Him to provide our needs like His word says He will. I need to know that I am walking in the right path He wants me to and if I'm not, I need to know how and where to change. If you wouldn't mind please say a prayer for me. I sure would appreciate it.

Until Later,
~Betty~

New Chapter

I know it has been awhile since I have posted, but there has been a lot going on here and have not much time to get my thoughts together to be understood. This week I have started a new chapter in my life. I am no longer doing child care in my home. I am working at a local college bookstore right now. I have mixed feelings about this and am not sure if it will work out or not. It all happened faster than what I expected, but felt like God was opening the door, therefore I walked through it for now. This job is temporary with a good chance it may lead into something more permanent. I am still looking for another job and would like to work in the Social Work field. I am also struggling with not staying home with my girls, I didn't think that would bother me as much as it is. I know to meet our need financially I have to have something that pays more. Right now I feel like I am on a roller coaster and I can't see the track in front of me to know which way we are going next. I know God is in control, but for someone who likes details it is REALLY hard to trust Him, not impossible just HARD! I know God is working in my life and will get me through this period in our lives, but I sure don't know what he is doing and don't see His plan at all. I feel like I am getting a deaf ear when I pray. I have been a Christian long enough to know not to trust my feelings, but I'm just expressing them here. I am learning to trust the Lord through this and am trying to enjoy my life as I am on this ride. I am praying for God's will and for Him to be glorified.

Now with working outside the home I'm not sure how often I will be posting. We have family coming into town next week so I don't think I will have time to blog. Hopefully I will catch up in a couple of weeks.

Until Later,
~Betty~

Back to Blogging

I sit hear wondering what I should write and how do I get myself back into blogging. I have taken a break and am now ready to come back, but not sure what all to share and what all to write about, therefore I’m just going to start by writing my thoughts.

I have decided that I want to continue blogging, because I want a place and an opportunity to share my thoughts about life, organization, parenting, weightloss, and what the Lord is teaching me in my daily walk with Him and I how feel about that.

There are several issues and God lessons that I could share right now and I am planning to share them and express them here on my blog. Here on my blog, I want to be able to share more of my heart and what God is doing in my life than what I have done in the past. I hope that if anyone is still out there reading this that you would come back and share your heart, thoughts, and encouragement with me as I share how God is walking with me On The Journey to Victory. I also hope that as I share my journey to victory that God will use this blog to encourage others.

I am making some changes in my life. One of the biggest changes I am making is I’m going to leave my comfort zone of staying home and providing child care. I am going to look for a job and this scares me and makes me nervous. I have been thinking about what kind of job I want and where I want to work and where I do not want to work. I am finding that I know in my heart what kind of job I want, but in many ways it is hard to describe. I wonder if the type of job I want even exists (that is for pay at least). I would like to do something in children’s programming in a Christian atmosphere. I am considering many different options and I need to pray more about it and rely on God to open the door He wants me to go through. For some reason I feel like I’m on my own and feel like I have to find the perfect job all on my own. That is when I get scared and worried. I am consistently reminding myself that I need to trust the Lord to take care of these issues. I am also looking for a work environment where I can grow professionally. Knowing what can be out there and where I came form before also concerns me. I was talking with my friend Pat this week and she reminded me that when we have faith our God is big enough to provide me a job that would satisfy my heart’s desire and to be able to meet the financial obligation that I need it to accomplish. After that phone conversation the Lord convicted me of how little faith I have right now. Because I believe the Lord is moving me in a new direction and moving me out of my comfort zone, I feel that I am fighting fear and insecurities. I did not realize how comfortable I have become. Although things are uncomfortable and I’m scared I am pressing forward. I am just beginning this job search journey, however already this week I have made some calls that have not been easy for me to do. Inside I want to run and say forget it, however I have made myself (through a lot of self talk) make the phone calls that I think I need to make to find a job. For my personality type this is not easy. It’s funny how I can say all the right things in my mind and think yep that is exactly the way I need to do it. When the time comes down to making the call I can think of all kinds of excuses not to do it. I guess that is the difference of knowing how and what to do and doing what you know you should do. You would think that when I know what I should do and know how to do it that it should be easy to do, but it’s not for me. I have to force myself to do what I know I should do. I try to convince myself by imagining how I will feel once the action is completed. As hard as this is I know the Lord is walking me through this and I will grow from this experience. As I have realized that I am lacking faith & trust right now these have been my top priority on my prayer list this week. I will continue to walk on this journey and will see the victory in this issue. I will share the process and progresses with any of you that find yourself here reading about my journeys to victory. Hopefully you will come back again. I am open to your thoughts, encouragement and prayers.

It feels good to be back blogging again. I have missed it.

Until Later,
~Betty~